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10.03.2013

Boundaries


That one time I met a cute guy, we had coffee the next day, and I didn't give him my number.

I know right?!

I thought we might have chemistry, and I knew that I wanted to get to know him, but I also knew that I wasn't ready for anything to progress more seriously. All or nothing Jordan would have assumed coffee was off limits, but the free spirit in me kept saying: "it's just coffee...right?!" So I entered the date with one rule: "Whether this goes good or bad, you are not giving him your number."

A simple lesson in setting boundaries...and it worked!! I listened to my wiser, more experienced self, instead of the somewhat desperate, flattered, and attention wanting other self and I did not give him my number. 

Consider it a personal victory in the world of: Jordan Does Singleness. So much so, that it has kick started my ability to begin caring for my heart better.

Because I believe the key to single living is guarding your heart.

I used to view boundaries as death because they caged me and stopped me from being what I thought was f r e e . Like self denial only to an unusual degree where I don't get to do anything I want and how am I ever living authentically that way? I would wonder.

However, I've come to realize that boundaries are so much more than restrictions but protections. It sounds so common sensical as I type it and yet it isn't. Because when I set boundaries for myself I'm really respecting myself and my season. When I set boundaries, I'm giving myself permission to be human, to do what I want, to take a risk, to try something new, but in a healthy way that doesn't involve sacrificing my health.

Now that I understand the true definition and purpose of the word boundary, I no longer limit myself in the ways that I used to and I no longer subject myself to the things that I used to. Instead, I go where I have peace and rest.

24 and single - I am mine. No longer a child, under the cover of my parents, and not a wife, under the provision of my husband. And what better way to prepare for the next season than by learning to love yourself well? Sometimes you just don't have to learn things the hard way in order to grow.


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