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6.26.2013

Mundane days and unexpected Glory


The day started out like any other bad day: early morning, alarm snoozing, dread, anxiety, and a daunting, looming, blank slate. What would the day hold? It was the anxiety that was eating me. And the anxiety led to frustration and annoyance, which led to self-deprecating and . . . you get the picture.

It was 8:30 a.m. and I was quickly digging a hole that I didn’t know how to get out of. . . . . . . starting at 8:30 a.m. Why?!

The day went on and work was work. Clients were clients.

And at the end of the workday I got bad news that could impact my future – for better or worse I don’t know yet, but let’s be real – (at this rate) I was assuming the worst.

The bad news birthed connection and conversation, people gathering together to support one another; lending insight, encouragement, and comfort. The person who needed the comfort, giving it. The person needing the encouragement, providing it.

How did I become THAT person? The one on the receiving end when all I could see was the need to GIVE.

He said to me: “Remember that day when I found you doing _______?  **Of course I remembered, but I was hoping that HE didn’t remember. (One of THOSE moments, you know?)* . . . People are going to see that as a weakness, but I see that as one of your greatest strengths. Because you CARE. So keep doing what you’re doing. We need that.”

Wait. What?

It stopped me in my tracks because I felt so understood, known, “enough”, right in my very own skin.

HE

SAW

ME

That was all it took for freedom to rein, to flush out the anxiety that had hopped up on my lap and made a comfortable home in my heart. I was seen for who I am and who I am is good in the eyes of another.

Sometimes isn’t that all it takes?

We can be our worst enemy or our best friend, and I was NOT on team Jordan this morning. Don’t we just want some teammates?

The simple reminder impacted my heart so strongly and I drove home in tears. Calling a friend to process, and lying on my bedroom floor as soon as I got home, basking in worship music.

I wasn’t able to write words to the tune of my emotions until later – after my somewhat solo worship party, and my contrastingly busy bible study.

But let me tell you, I’ve been content ever since.

And as I’ve grown in my walk with Him (I reference “Him” as God, Jesus Christ, the Creator of the universe), I’m better able to recognize His pursuit of my heart. Because it took one conversation, one sentence even, one man’s opinion, to change the direction of my day and the direction of my heart.

It took one sentence for my view of myself to change.

It took just one conversation for me to remember. For me to return home. And for me to find freedom.

I don’t know about you, but that’s the hand of the Almighty to me, at work in the details of our lives, of my life. Caring enough about the direction of my days, which leads to the direction of my journey, to intervene and to CHANGE it for the BETTER.

He works for our good, right?

There are so many conclusions for me to draw from this just swimming in my head. And sometimes it’s difficult for me to write and to hit “publish” without one simple conclusion, but for tonight my hope is that you experience these moments too. However small or grand, the kind of moments that draw you back home and that leave you with life left over and love to share. A healing sort of thing.
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